Alien, or When you see an abandoned spaceship LEAVE IT ALONE

Title: Alien
Rating: R

Released: 1979

Format: DVD

Version: Director's Cut 2 disc edition

Run Time: 1 hour 57 minutes (1979 Theatrical Cut) 1 hour 56 minutes (2003 Director's Cut)

Purchased: Amazon.com
Price:$14.99


Plot according to imdb.com: When a mining ship lands on a planet to investigate upon a suspected SOS, the entire crew are unaware of the terror which they would unleash upon their ship. When a alien life-form attach's itself to the face of a crew member, the rest of the team act fast to try and separate the two organisms. Unbeknownst to everyone, this is the start of the terror which would affect every member of the seven person crew.

Plot according to Allen:  Innocent people are in space, they find an abandoned ship with a distress call.  Of course they decide to investigate.  People go crazy, and people die.  I don't want to give it away but one of the most bad ass aliens in cinema history is involved.

There used to be a time when the future was this bright happy place full of shiny metals and flying cars.  If you were in space your ship was crisp and clean.  Then Alien happened.  Everything is dark, dirty, broken, and gross looking.  It looks real.  Even over 30 years after it's release Alien still looks new.  The effects work.  The acting is great.  Everything looks timeless.  If they released this exact movie without any of it's other incarnations tomorrow I wouldn't think it looked cheap compared to the Harry Potters of the world.

A lot of that credit has to go to Ridley Scott for his direction and the decisions that he made. H.R. Giger's set and character designs were so ahead of their time that you absolutely believe that that is EXACTLY what aliens look like.  The music is pitch perfect for the mood that they were going for, it's there but it isn't there.  The dialog is sparse, but in all honesty if you are being hunted down by an alien that bleeds acid and has no reservations about eating your face off you probably wouldn't be doing much talking either.  That's why it is such a perfect movie - it's realism.  You feel for these people because you are these people.  Their actions in the face of danger is exactly what you would have done.  The scares work because of the perfect mixture of tension and realism.

Every time I mention this movie to my dad, he tells the story about when he first saw it in the theater with my mother and how she was so scared she left bruising on his leg.  And every time I watch it I believe it, because if I was watching it with someone that is probably what I would do as well.

Final rating: 5 out of 5

The Fifth Element is Love

Title: The Fifth Element
Rating:PG-13

Released:1997

Format: Blu-Ray

Version: A very bare bones edition with no special features at all.

Run Time:  2 Hrs and 2 min

Purchased: I forget, but I think I bought it at Best Buy
Price: Let's say $15

 Plot According to imdb.com: Two hundred and fifty years in the future, life as we know it is threatened by the arrival of Evil. Only the fifth element can stop the Evil from extinguishing life, as it tries to do every five thousand years. She is helped by ex-soldier, current-cab-driver, Korben Dallas, who is, in turn, helped by Prince/Arsenio clone, Ruby Rhod. Unfortunately, Evil is being assisted by Mr. Zorg, who seeks to profit from the chaos that Evil will bring, and his alien mercenaries.

Plot According to Allen: Alright so there is this giant ball of evil out in space that is slowly coming towards Earth and the only way to stop it is with these magical stones.  In a race for the stones it is Bruce Willis versus Gary Oldman, just try and guess who is the good guy and who is the bad guy (hint: Oldman is the crazy and creepy looking guy.)  Along his way Bruce has the lovely Leeloo fall into his life and she becomes the key to the whole saving the earth thing.  So really it's a love story.

In all honesty I have always had a soft spot for the Fifth Element.   From it's vibrant colors and vivid environments to it's rich history and of course wonderfully simplistic story it really is a perfect movie.  It is Sci-Fi enough to satisfy any nerd, action packed Bruce Willis with a dash of a half naked Milla Jovavich for the guys that encapsulates a really beautiful love story for the ladies.  Yeah that's right that movie that features Bruce Willis digging through the chest cavity of a blue tentacled singer is a love story.

The action really is minimal in this movie, but it is perfectly timed to keep the pace at perfection.  Yes Chris Tucker is annoying as Ruby Rhod but you know what?  If the biggest complaint I can come up with is that a minimally used side character is mildly annoying but still entertaining I'm gonna go ahead and let that one slide on Allen's scale of awesomeness.

There is no real debate here - this movie belongs in your movie collection and your collection is not complete until this is there.  The only real debate is if you want to have this on Blu-Ray or DVD, and honestly even the bare-bones special feature free version that I have on Blu-Ray is a must own for your Blu-Ray collection though I am a little worried that the good folks at Columbia will try and hit me up for a double dip by releasing a special collector's anniversary deluxe edition with an entire second disc full of awesomeness and a somehow even crisper transfer that will run about $35 just to trick the early purchasers into buying two copies of the same movie.

AND I WILL BUY IT FOR IT WILL BE AMAZING!

Final verdict: 5 out of 5